A Mans Guide To House Cleaning

This hub is not for everybody. If you enjoy the backbreaking pleasures of cleaning your home from top to bottom with a toothbrush dipped in household cleaner we are coming at this from very different angles and you won't find suitable advice here.

On the other hand, if you hate cleaning with a passion you have come to the right place. There are some less than useful tips provided here and I suggest you ignore them completely due to the risks of your house burning down if you don't get the techniques provided here just right.

A far better alternative would be to get a maid service to come in and do your household chores and keep the place looking like someone actually cares and all at a relatively low price.

For those of you who enjoy a challenge read on.

Every single man should have a robot vacuum cleaner. Vacuuming is one of the most tedious jobs in the world and it wouldn't be so bad if you did it once and it lasted for two or thee years like decorating.

The answer, my friends, is not blowing in the wind. It is a robocop vacuum cleaner that knows when it is time to clean. How does it know? Does it watch me spilling cookies on the floor or something?

I got myself one of these little beauties and it works really good. It still works even after one night when I was very drunk and had fallen asleep on the sofa. I woke up with that weird feeling where you don't know where you are or what is going on.

I saw this thing creeping across the floor and imagined it was a giant rat. I gave it the boot with as much force as I could muster and the Robocop vacuum cleaner which was minding it's own business and doing it's nightly clean, went flying across the room and hit the TV. The tv toppled off its beautifully designed but totally unsafe stand that must have been designed by someone who is not in the habit of knocking TVs over. As I watched the tv topple over and land with a crash on the floor the robocop vacuum cleaner ricocheted off and hit my window whereupon the glass smashed.

Fortunately the robocop vacuum landed on the inside of the window having used up all the energy I had given it with my kick and it landed the right way up and promptly carried on cleaning. This was fortunate as the room was in quite a mess by now.

Knowing robocop was in control I fell back on the sofa and promptly went back to sleep. It was quite a shock to wake up to the mess that was in front of my eyes the next day. But robo vacuum was a great help in getting it all cleared up.

Where does dust come from? It seems to me like you dust a surface and as soon as you turn your back those dust clouds just shower everything with dust once again. It is a never ending task to keep everything clean and tidy.

I am not the best person in the world when it comes to dusting. I do some and just find it so tedious and boring I abandon all ideas of having shiny surfaces. These days I just have a blitz on dust every once in a while.

One tool I found very useful was a leaf blower. This doesn't work so well if you have any paperwork or small items laying around but if you run a fairly minimalist home with very few lightweight ornaments to get in the way a leaf blower shifts dust like you wouldn't believe.

Leaf blowers are moderately large pieces of kit so you do need to keep your wits about you as you swing it around the room to shift all that dust but with care you can clear all those dusty surfaces in a matter of minutes.

The only other alternative piece of equipment I have found to be effective for dust is an industrial vacuum cleaner but the trouble with those is that you spend as long afterwards searching through the dirt bin for all those items it sucked up and swallowed but they are very effective at sucking up dust and dirt.

I am still experimenting trying to find the best way to clean windows. A pressure washer works great on the outside but boy! Did it make a mess of the rugs when I tried doing the inside of the windows with it.

Steam cleaners seem to work better but I always worry that the heat on the window might crack the glass. It has not done so yet but it is always a risk and I like to avoid doing risky things when I can.

To be honest, the best way I have found to clean windows was letting my neighbors wife do it one time. She was mentioning how she loved to see sparkling window glass so I gave her a challenge to try to make my windows sparkle too. She spent hours on them. I think, maybe, she regretted accepting the challenge but she did a good job. Funnily enough she has never offered to repeat the experience.