Abusive-Relationship

Abusive relationships are not a subject anyone really wants to talk about. We would prefer it didn't happen but sadly, it does, and it is more common than any of us want to believe. So what is abuse and what makes arguments and disagreements into mental and emotional abuse and what can be done about it?

Abuse is not only physical abuse, though that is the first thing most of us think of when we think about abusive relationships. There are broadly two types of abusive behaviour the first is physical with several degrees of abuse from the odd slap to brutal aggressive and violent attacks. The other form of abuse is mental and again there are degrees of mental abuse.

Mental abuse can take many forms but it usually takes the form of constantly putting another person down using excessive and usually totally unjustified criticism. The bullying partner appears to have a very high opinion of their own qualities and puts down any and everybody else and especially their partner. The abusive partner is a bully.

To an observer it may not even be noticed. The bully may behave reasonably well in public but behind closed doors they believe they are the only person who matters and feels they can dominate their partner as much as they like.

It is usually true to say that bullies are actually weak people and if they are challenged they may back down but the reality is that they could turn from mental abuse to physical abuse if they feel their position is threatened. Like a rat trapped in a corner they don't know what to do and may become aggressive so caution is wise.

If you feel trapped in an abusive relationship the best plan may be to prepare, with the support of another person or group, and make plans to walk away if you feel that is the only option left open to you. If you have a plan to leave and get away then if you feel it is safe to do so you could challenge the supposed authority of the abusive partner but only if you feel that it will be safe to do so.

The constant mental abuse leave the victim partner feeling unworthy and helpless to resist but recognising what is happening and acting early is the best policy to either fix the problem or escape from it.

It is unlikely an abusive person will change though they could if they can be made to see what they are doing and why it is wrong. In most cases it would seem to be that they don't know any other way and they are unlikely to be able to change significantly even if they wanted to.

It is a form of abuse when you have a partner who cheats on you. If they are truly committed to your relationship they have no excuse except that they don't value you as highly as they value themselves.

For many cheaters it is simply an ego trip and they do not feel anything for either the person they are cheating with or the person they are cheating on. It is all about themselves and what they want with little or no regard for anyone else's thoughts and feelings.

They say that cheats never prosper and this may be true in the long term and they will get their comeuppance but in the short term you need to worry about yourself. You need to find a way to deal with the emotional abuse of cheating somehow or another. Either fix it or leave or  you must accept that you are a second class citizen in your relationship and that is not a good place to be.