How To Cope With The End Of A Relationship

One of the hardest things we may have to deal with in our lives is learning how to cope with the end of a relationship. There are few feelings or emotions that come anywhere close to the powerful emotions of love and feeling close to someone. When that suddenly ends it can have a devastating impact on the partner who is left wondering exactly what happened and why.

Having to continue with your normal life and do all those regular things that once used to involve your partner can be very difficult to do. Your emotions are in turmoil and you hardly know which way to turn. I have been there and have the tee shirt but I want to reassure you that you will get through it.

Hard as it may seem to believe there will come a time when that relationship and that partner is just a distant memory. You may always have strong feelings about that person but it does ease with time and those feelings become more of a feeling of disappointment that things didn't work out rather than the deep distressing feelings you feel in those first days, weeks and months after a breakup.

Being in a committed relationship is addictive. Like any other addictive drug or behaviour a good relationship boosts those feel-good feelings in our brain and it makes us feel great. It give you all sorts of positive feelings when you are enjoying being with that person or even thinking about them.

So, its no wonder that it is so difficult to give up that addiction when it suddenly comes to a crashing stop. There is a sudden emptiness and lack of that thing that has been making you feel good in the past.

Not only do you have to deal with feelings of rejection and maybe failure but you also have this complete lack of the love drug you have been enjoying so much in the recent past. You may experience feelings of emptiness and despair become almost overwhelming and you may suffer desperately dark and depressed moods.

It can be hard to focus on anything else except the feelings of loss you are suffering. It becomes all encompassing and somehow anything you see or do somehow seems to relate to the breakup of your relationship and the sense of loss you are experiencing.

There seems to be nowhere to turn and nothing you can do that will allow you to stop thinking about what has gone from your life. It is a very difficult experience to cope with. Comedians no longer seem funny and sports results don't matter even though you may have been enthusiastically following them for years. It is as though your life has been turned on its head and the truth of the matter is that yes, it has been.

It is a hard thing to do but you have to adjust to the fact that your recent relationship is no longer there. Your life will be different in the future. It may be worse, it may even be better but it will be different and we all struggle to cope with such major changes in our lives.

There is nothing wrong with feeling hurt. It is a very normal and natural feeling. Coping with our own emotions can be a difficult thing to do but allowing yourself to feel them will usually help. Let your feelings out and allow yourself to release the pain. If you bottle it up it may haunt you for years to come.

Remember you are not alone in this. Every day, perhaps every hour, thousands of relationships break up. For 1001 reasons people decide that the relationship they are in is no longer what they want in life.

Having your partner leave you does not mean you are a bad person. It just means that for whatever reason they decided, maybe rightly, maybe wrongly, you were not the right person for them. They made that decision but it does not mean you failed.

It just means they felt you were not the one to give them what they needed but you could be the right person for somebody else and that new person may make you even happier than you were in the past. You may find it hard to believe right now but there are millions of examples where this has been the case.

You may be constantly going over things that have happened in your relationship and feeling that those events and conversations proved how right you were for each other. Maybe they did for you. Maybe they did for your partner at the time but questioning yourself can run you round in circles and it is unlikely to get you anywhere.

For months after my relationship ended I was asking myself, why this, why that and how come she didn't see what doing x, y or z meant and showed how much I cared. Eventually I came to realise none of it meant a bean.

It doesn't matter what you thought or how you interpreted your actions. If your partner left you they did so for the reasons that were in their head, not yours. Try as we might we can never fully understand how our significant other is thinking or feeling. We may think we know them very well but often the truth is that we know a lot less about them than we previously thought.

Constantly asking yourself why will screw you up and prevent you moving on and getting on with your life. There will be some exceptions where you can think things through and approach your ex partner to explain your thoughts and feelings and they may change their mind.

It can happen and sometimes things can be worked out. Couples do sometimes get back together but all too often your ex partner may want to try to ease your pain by listening but the shutters are down and the relationship has ended. There will be no going back.

Nobody wants to see the end of a relationship. Not you and not the partner who left you. When you started out you both wanted it to be a great success. Sadly it hasn't turned out that was but nobody ever said relationships were easy. We do get a little confused by watching too many feelgood romantic movies where everything always ends up so wonderfully happy. If only real life were as easy. Very few relationships are happy all the way along the journey and many end with great sadness and unhappiness.

The most important thing to learn is that acceptance of the situation brings some relief and peace. It may not be what you want but this is reality and if the relationship is over then you need to move on. The sooner you can accept closure the happier you will be.

If only it were as simple as turning a switch and you could forget the past, but it isn't. Moving on after the end of a relationship takes a lot of courage and a determination to move on. It can take time but there is every chance of a positive and happy future and the sooner you are able to forgive and let go of the past the sooner your wonderful future can begin.

If you have not yet reached the point where your relationship is over then you might find some useful tips on building a stronger marriage by clicking this link to How To Save A Marriage where there are lots of articles about building successful relationships and understanding what is needed to make a happy marriage.

If you are wondering how to start dating again now that you are single you might find this hub about how to start dating online useful and if you decide to give online dating a try then Dating tips For Shy Guys might give you a few good pointers and you could read about how to set up a Dating Profile on the online dating sites.